NDVAM: Research Reveals Abuse Red Flags

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is in October, so Bumble has created a resource to help those who are starting to suspect their partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive recognize the warning signs of abuse. The resource was developed in partnership with the National Domestic Violence Hotline (US).

Bumble was created with the goal of prioritizing healthy and equitable relationships. In order to provide resources and foster a community, Bumble has partnered with Bloom, a free online trauma support program for survivors, to offer one-on-one chat, on-demand courses, resources made by survivors and trauma-informed therapists, and, in some cases, six therapy sessions. In India, the Bloom curriculum is now also accessible in Hindi. According to a recent study of Bloom users, 69% of individuals who had been referred to Bloom believed that it had or may have a beneficial influence on them. All of Bumble’s partnerships reflect its worldwide approach to privacy compliance and are in line with the app’s commitment to preserving the privacy of its users.

It might be difficult to predict at first glance if a relationship will become abusive. In reality, many abusive persons first seem ideal or like the ideal mate in the early phases of a relationship. However, possessive and controlling behaviors can take time to develop and become more pronounced as the relationship progresses. Because of this, it’s critical to be aware of any abuse warning signs. Relationships expert Ruchi Ruuh of Bumble offers her perspective on some of the important signs:

embarrassing you or making fun of youThose who make fun of themselves may imagine that others also love being the punchline. If you tell them you don’t like it and they keep doing it, or if you observe that the jokes are never spoken at their expense, this is a warning sign. “Jokes” may easily turn into insulting remarks and be used to train a person to tolerate poisonous behavior in the future.
preventing you from visiting your family or friends or discouraging you from doing soReduction is the name for the regulating behavior in question. It may also include gradually reducing other good relationships from your life until the one with them is the only one left, leaving you feeling reliant, in addition to restricting you from visiting your friends and relatives.
preventing you from exercising independent judgmentAny abusive relationship has power and a lack of support as a primary motif. These situations may begin modest and even appear innocuous, but if left unchecked, they may give rise to chances for an abuser to seize more advantage and obstruct significant, life-altering choices, ranging from those involving your family and friends to your career and cash.
behaving as if the abuse isn’t occurring or blaming you for itThe propensity to gaslight a victim goes hand in hand with abuse. Because 1) it’s difficult to accept that someone you expect to love and respect you would act in the opposite way, and 2) abusers frequently go out of their way to keep you on their good side and persuade you that what you are going through is normal or not happening at all, you may be blind to abusive behaviors when you are in a relationship. This is the point when having a reliable friend or family member as a support system is essential. In order to constantly have a third-party viewpoint available to you, make sure you’re discussing both the good and the bad about your relationship with the individuals in your life.

Other indicators of misuse include:

Observing you or behaving in ways that frighten you
controlling who you interact with, your location, or your behavior
refusing to provide you money for expenditures or stealing it
preventing you from exercising independent judgment
berating you for being a horrible parent or threatening to hurt or remove your kids
keeping you from going to work or school
Threatening to harm or kill your pets or destroying your property
punching, choking, shoving, or slapping you
attempting to dissuade you from filing a complaint

“A strong love relationship ought to provide you a sense of security and authority. It’s crucial to start focusing on the subtler, non-physical indications of abuse after you cease constantly connecting with those sentiments so you can get the support you or a friend may need. You must be aware of these indicators and be aware of both the apparent and less obvious ways that harmful behaviors might manifest themselves. The more you know, the more equipped you’ll probably be, says Ruuh. “I believe there’s a misconception that toxic behaviors are simple to recognize when in fact, they could seem differently in different circumstances.

At Bumble, we place a high premium on member safety because we understand that building true relationships requires a sense of security. Bumble is committed to making constant improvements to our applications so that they are as inclusive as possible for our community and allow our users to fully express themselves.