LIFESTYLE

Street food: The less tasty option

Animals don’t seem to get very thrilled about any form of street food, have you noticed? This is because every meal is considered street food to them. Although I wholeheartedly agree that street food evokes feelings and perhaps prompts actions,. There are, nonetheless, a select few meals that never let you down.

Idli Tawa

Would you purchase 150-year-old whiskey and add turpentine to it? Would you knowingly purchase an iPhone and then dump it into a muddy pool? Why then would you consume Tawa Idli? Why in the world would someone fry some steamed idlis after they’ve been steaming all night in order to give your body some fermented fiber? If you’re not like idli, then have some puri instead; by “tawaing” it, all you’re doing is enriching the already wealthy owner of the Gulf oil refinery. This is just a pretext for an invention that helps no one else.

Whatever, Bahubali

Any cuisine that appeals to your stomach by using the word “Bahubali” is nothing more than a fraud. Even Kattappa wouldn’t eat any dish labelled “Bahubali,” and believe me when I say that it won’t even come close to Radhye Shayam. The reasoning is straightforward: quantity does not equate to quality, and completing the meal by yourself does not indicate strength; if it does, then good job—you simply assisted the restaurant in clearing out their leftovers.

Momos from Old City

“The flavor of momos is directly proportional to the distance from Tibet,” is my general guideline when it comes to eating them. The momos taste better the closer you are. Momos are as authentic in Hyderabad as Hyderabadi biryani is in Bengaluru. Also, the shouts would instantly shift from “Save Tibet” to “Save Momos” if the Dalai Lama ever had Hyderabadi momos.

Jalebi from Haryana

Desserts are usually the focal point of any bustling street food lane, but don’t hesitate to give in to your sweet tooth if you happen to see a man selling jalebis from a converted suitcase. I won’t go into too much detail, but as a connoisseur of desserts, I would prefer to coat glue in sugar and consume it that way. I would then, at the very least, know why something is stuck in my gut.

Some dishonorable remarks will never be forgotten, and they are evident if you watch reels: sleazy dosa, your typical crying maggi, and everything that is forced from a basic to an expert degree of cookery has just one goal in mind: sales. You may always DM me if you believe there are more. I also want to live a long life.

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