A 23-year-old lady described her experience in the ‘Am I the A***ole’ thread on Reddit after her closest friend, Jane, asked her to an engagement dinner. The meal was originally scheduled to take place at her friend’s house, but owing to an air conditioning issue, the venue was changed to a posh restaurant. Due to financial limitations, the 23-year-old originally turned down the offer but kept her buddy in the dark. After Jane pushed, the young woman finally consented to go. She had no idea that her choice would result in an unforeseen dispute.
“She told me she wanted to make a good impression so she picked a super fancy restaurant,” she said in further explanation. I instantly felt depressed since I realized I couldn’t afford this house. I explained to her that something had come up and I wouldn’t be able to go tonight out of embarrassment about my financial status. She then started pleading with me to attend, saying that it would mean a lot to her and make her feel less anxious. I decided to go despite my unpleasant feelings.
“This is where I might be an a***hole. I spent an hour driving into the city to get to the restaurant. Everyone had already placed their orders when I arrived, so I sat next to my buddy. When it was my turn, I just shook my head, kindly requested only water, and grinned. The waiter asked me if I was sure, which did make me feel a bit awkward, and I said, “Yes,” before glancing at my buddy to see what she wanted to eat, she continued.
The 23-year-old said she thought the evening went well, but her friend contacted her the next day to express her shame and say that her behavior was “tacky and embarrassing” in front of her in-laws. The young lady went to the dinner to support her friend, so at first she didn’t believe her behavior would be detrimental to her.
Her case has received widespread attention ever since the Redditor uploaded the image, and the comments area is brimming with differing opinions. “Your friend is a major a***ole,” one person remarked. She ought to have subtly said, “This one is on me,” and made sure her hour-long commuter pal was fed and watered at her event.
One person said, “I would have been scared SICK if one of my friends did it. It’s terrible that her first instinct was, “You embarrassed me.”
You should have told her in advance that you couldn’t afford to eat there and that’s why you wouldn’t be able to attend, a user advised. Instead, you lied and stayed silent. She might have accepted your denial to the invitation or offered to pay for you if she had known.
“I sincerely think that effective communication might resolve the bulk of problems. But it’s generally something you have to learn the hard way,” read one response.
“You could have just said, ‘I’m sorry, but that is way too expensive for me,'” one more chimed in. When my ‘wealthy’ friends invite me out, I always comply. If they truly want to go, they may sometimes ask me, or we may decide to do something different. It is quite strange and a little disrespectful to go to a restaurant where everyone is dining but you are just drinking water.
Over 4,000 people have upvoted the Reddit article.