Put a light on in the shadows
Patriarchy is strange in that it is so cunning. And how all-encompassing, to the point that you are unaware that you, too, with your sophisticated, independent intellect, were long since ingested by this beast and now live—all aspects of you, including your assertive feminist voice and sense of independence—inside the massive, aggressive animal.
Even if a few of us, seasoned with time and self-assurance, are able to establish some boundaries today, the majority of us will still remember instances in which we were violated. not only by violent strangers. However, there were also much more difficult circumstances—such as the kind employer, mentor, and beloved cousin—as well as the horrifying scenario of a close friend’s spouse leaving us off at home while making crude remarks. For the offender, cars are often the carefully planned safe haven. We may have been any age or quite young. We remain silent.
Shame, loneliness, anxiety, difficulties, limitations, and the belief that raising one’s voice would inevitably result in a lesser life are all examples. In the world of women, when there are few supports and daily struggles, losing one of these “well wishers” may make seemingly insurmountable obstacles seem unachievable. The well-wisher will also, with tremendous intimidation, advise us not to “tell anyone.”
Years pass. Although your worries still exist, your life has improved. You are a lady of maturity. You feel more confident, have friends, and have a position in society. Everything has been upgraded. Maybe the guy is still out there somewhere. Maybe he has also received an update. A wonderful buddy over the years! He hasn’t exactly committed the same offenses again. You don’t go to the original frightening location too frequently.
In my dual life as a healer and designer, I have had the opportunity of hearing many women’s tales. And I see how many women have these eerie ghosts from their pasts that haunt them even now. He sometimes makes lighthearted jokes about the earlier occurrence, but he always implies that there had been permission from both parties.
What will happen next—do we assign blame or endure humiliation? What’s required is a careful review. What we won’t feel, we can’t heal. And until there is acceptance, there can be no going forward. Thus, show some affection to the delicate young lady that you once were. Take her hand and let her know you recognize the suffering she endured in silence and that you comprehend her inability to speak out. We go from being the victim to being the source when we fully embrace who we are. This is where strong women’s lovely upward trip starts!
