Movie Review: Jake Gyllenhaal’s ‘Road House’ version is a macho, Florida frolic

Elwood P. Dalton is a sophisticated kind of doorman. He has a question for the five tough men around him outside the pub as they try to beat his head in: “Do you have insurance before we start?” And he drives them to the hospital with kindness after giving them each a severe thrashing.

A former UFC fighter with a troubled background, Dalton is portrayed by a strong and languid Jake Gyllenhaal in the remake of the pulpy 1989 action movie starring Patrick Swayze, “Road House.”

“Are you sure you fully considered this?” At one point, Dalton asks an attacker who has the audacity to stab him in the abdomen. One may also ask the filmmakers the same question: Is it really a good idea to remake this ancient movie? The response is as unexpected as a sucker punch: it’s true.

Gyllenhaal plays an unusual loner with fierce fighting skills who earns a fortune in illicit bouts and lives in his vehicle, plagued by what he did to a buddy in the octagon. Think of him as Spider-Man meets Jack Reacher meets Jason Bourne. He employs electrical tape in place of bandages and pours alcohol into his open wounds, yet he also strangely utilizes wheeled baggage. (You anticipated a large, black duffel bag, correct?) What’s inside the suitcase? A death desire, naturally.

A roadhouse bar owner (Jessica Williams, always wonderfully tart) entices him to the Florida Keys, where she requires a great bouncer to keep her safe from nightly violence. He’s been given $5,000 a week to put an end to the goons who overturn tables, toss bottles, and break billiard cues while wearing sleeveless denim jackets. (This film will be adored by the Florida tourism board).

A bartender remarks, “I hope you’re different,” and he is. Dalton moves to the made-up town of Glass Key, dates a cute girl, befriends the decent people, and lives on a houseboat—the kind of dwelling that all broken hearts are drawn to. In a Zen-like manner, he quickly imparts knowledge to the other bouncers and finds great excuses to remove his shirt.

“I’m just a guy,” he declares. “Knowing me is not what you want.”

After that, he unearths a plot straight out of “Scooby-Doo”: The property underneath the bar is essential to the development of the opulent resort that the corrupt police officers and the wealthy local have imagined. In essence, organized crime is attempting to force the owner of the bar out of business. “Awful!”

At this moment, former UFC fighter Conor McGregor, who is making his acting debut as a crazy gun-for-hire Knox, gives “Road House” an immediate electrifying boost. With his carefree stroll through a European town while completely nude but for a pair of boots, he could have one of the greatest movie openings ever.

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There is a grudging respect between Dalton and Knox, but they are bound to face off against one other. Both of them have significant cuts and are dysfunctional. “There’s a problem with you. “Me too,” the massive Irish man replies. He’s the kind of chaos agent who claims he wants to go “clubbing” while brandishing a golf club.

Things start to become a bit weird at the conclusion of the movie as it begins to go far from the roadhouse, much like a night of heavy drinking. Explosions roar, speed boats take to the sky, and a message is sent by arson. A tragically abandoned dangerous crocodile that has a significant function.

Screenwriters Anthony Bagarozzi and Charles Mondry have a tendency to embrace clichés, such as deceased moms, deceitful characters, and oddball children that highlight the fatherly aspect of our protagonists. However, a dangerously unstable McGregor is a gift. And so is Billy Magnussen, who portrays the delectably preppy rich kid bully. He’s so nasty that, in a fit of rage, he tosses his phone into the sea and then begs an underling to get it for him.

The director of “The Bourne Identity,” Doug Liman, seems to be enjoying himself as he blends in honky tonk music by the delectably titled Rockin’ Dopsie Jr. & The Zydeco Twisters while keeping the camera lingering on the well-cut beefsteak. The action sequences are explosive, combining amazing, thunderous stunts with POV camera work. Even if it’s ridiculous, it’s still entertaining.

Liman is angry that the film is moving directly to streaming instead of theaters for this reason alone. However, he could fix that. He could take on, say, a gracious but troubled ex-fighter who now lives in his vehicle. That person can fix anything for a few thousand.

The Amazon MGM Studios film “Road House,” which will be available on Prime Video starting on March 21, is classified R due to “nudity, violence, alcohol use, and foul language.” 114 minutes total running time.